6 Life Lessons Reflected Through Tennis

Sports analogies are nothing new. We hear about the quarterbacks on sales teams or how a person’s golf game is analogous to something in their work. Today, I had the humbling realization that there are seasons in life that can be a lot like my tennis game: Love-40. For those of you who know tennis, that’s the score in a game when you’re at zero (love) and 40 is your opponent’s score. The only option is to win the next four points to win the game, or when they win the next point, the game is theirs.

After over 30 years off the court, I took up tennis again this spring. Thanks to an encouraging and positive friend, I took the leap and dusted off my racquet. It has been such a fun couple of months trying my hand at something I’d forgotten I enjoyed, changing my grip, and learning to serve for the first time (thank you YouTube), but also it has been a joy trying to improve upon something fun and healthy. In truth, I have SO much work to do, but the way I see it, my game can only go UP from here.

On the court though, I’m finding my mental toughness is not what it is in other areas of my life. Even at my ripe and wiser age, the adolescent pangs of harsh awareness of my shortcomings are overwhelming. For each shot I miss, I’m so unkind to myself. You should have had that. Why can’t you hustle faster? These shoes are so uncomfortable. Disney Princess – why are you spinning around trying to get that ball and missing it? What in the h$*% was that? On a deeper level, there is a visceral feeling loaded with subliminal nerves as if I’m back in one of my piano competitions under the lens of a scrutinizing judge or the pressure in a volleyball game against an archrival. These experiences were so long ago, that it seems like a no-brainer I should be able to simply dismiss these thoughts and laugh them off.

Nope. Nada. Not a chance. Instead, I have found myself as judge, jury, and my own archrival in tennis on the court and in my head. Take it a step further and we might as well agree that I am acting against myself in my own life. There is nothing holy about that whatsoever. Add on this challenge: as a motivator, cheerleader, and coach for others, it’s sobering to find myself doing the very thing I loathe and caution against with people I’m supporting. Ahhh, the irony. Ouch, the hypocrisy. Sheesh. I know. I’m not perfect either, but let’s get real. As humans, and especially as women, why are we so hard on ourselves?

It’s not that it’s a perfection thing with tennis and me. I can say that with complete honesty with myself and you, but you know what I think it is? It’s the desire to ensure that the experience is better for others than myself (I’m sure some therapist could unload on that). I want my teammate to have a great match and our opponents to feel that it was a challenge and worth it to be there. I also want to feel like my game delivers follow-through on my forehand and backhand (which I need in multiple areas of my life), get it over the net, and sometimes with great force that feels like an ace that leads to a WIN.

Oh tennis! You’re a great analogy for my life, and maybe yours too? Whatever the widget is that we’re practicing, we all want to see our practice pay off, have our shots that are easy or difficult go over the net, and sometimes have a big, slammin’ win, and to ensure a sense of community and connection with others (at least that’s my jam anyway).

Through all of this, here’s the secret ingredient I discovered:

PRACTICE.

This be “Captain Obvious”, but to me it took me having some tennis humble pie to realize that my expectations of myself were not only unrealistic, but completely self-sabotaging.

Side note: I do not believe in practice makes perfect after coming in 2nd many times in my life, because I practiced my hands and mind off, but I do believe that with practice we progress and achieve our own internal wins even if the external world doesn’t recognize it as a W.

PRACTICE will help me with proper follow-through.

PRACTICE will help me increase consistent shots.

PRACTICE will give me the endurance and stamina to have a comeback when I’m behind.

PRACTICE will give me the occasional, or possibly frequent future ace.

All of these skills take enormous, persistent, dedicated practice and the awareness that what’s happening across the net will change with every single opponent just like every new situation in life.

The gift of tennis returning to my life is significant and I won’t let it go unnoticed. I’m grateful for many levels of awareness. Here are a few:

1. I continue to be too hard on myself and that energy isn’t good for me or for anyone. That’s spiritual warfare in the making and God has never once expected me to be perfect or great at something without preparation and practice. I need to shut down that inner voice and resurrect my supportive, strong, and can-do voice that is inherent to my personality – for MYSELF.

2. I need to accept that the NAZ (No Apology Zone) I ask of my friends and teammates would be best started with myself. It’s okay that I miss a shot. If I’m trying my hardest, learning from my errors, and trying to correct them, that is ENOUGH.

3. I can keep practicing and may stay at the 2.5 level. This is great, because if I’m having fun, that really is ENOUGH for me. Mantra: I am ENOUGH for the level of the game I’m playing.

4. God is trying to teach me something in this game, the losses, some of the unexpected INCREDIBLE shots (maybe He’s showing me what I’m capable of?), and that it’s a blessing to be alive, healthy, and able to get on the court in that tennis dress and have some serious FUN.

5. Whether it’s LOVE, Deuce, Match Point, or an Ace, where can I find the lesson in my game and the game of life? What can I learn?

6. Best of all: God is also allowing two voices to be in my head: 1) My instructor saying, “Slow down…” and 2) My own voice saying, “Wait for it” and “Follow through…” Hmmmm. Pretty solid messages for life.

I have a feeling there is more to this game than the racquet and that ball that I’m going to learn about myself and my life, and for now, that truly is giving me a pure love of the game while figuring out how to slow down – wait for it – and follow-through.