Breaking Free
I don’t believe in coincidence. I’m not sure that I ever have and today proves it.
Today I was talking to one of my lifelong and dearest friends. Like so many other times, every time I talk with her my life levels up. So it makes perfect sense that while we were talking, a bird was caught in the ground portion of our golf practice net in our backyard. This was not, of course, good for the bird, but after what ensued, it made perfect sense. Here’s the story and why it made sense.
This bird was not only caught between one of the many squares in this net (which we have for our summer camp and evening fun here at Camp Mom/Harvey), but this sweet junco (one of my Mom’s favorites) was caught in at least a dozen squares. As the bird began to move more and panic, she became more entangled and the whole situation became worse. Only when the bird was calm did it look like we might be able to work together to set her free.
I could see the panic in her eyes. I could see the frustration and fear.
She was completely stuck.
I was her only hope. Her wings were tangled and in an effort to get out she almost wove herself between another section with her head.
I needed to help her – and fast. My friend and I hung up until our next chat.
I dashed into the house, donned my raincoat and yellow dishwashing gloves in case I was bitten (which would also make perfect sense). Right? After all, when a giant approaches, it’s natural to defend ourselves!
At first, the bird was surprisingly calm. After assessing the messy situation, I was able to see what we, together, were in for. It wasn’t going to be easy or pretty. When she was still, I could clip a square here and there to free a part of her wings or body. Then she panicked and it was like 10 steps backwards after so much progress as she looped herself again.
It was scary for her and frustrating for me, because I wanted so much for her to have her freedom.
Remember this line. After about ten minutes (or so it seemed), I was able to gently cup her between my gloves and help her loosen herself only to find she was still tangled on the opposite leg. With slow steady decisions, gently shushing her with compassion like I would to a baby who is upset, I snipped the final piece free and she took off. For the other corner.
Yep. No kidding. She tangled herself again.
Thankfully, this time, it wasn’t worse. I was able to work with her again and after six snips she plunged forward under the fence waddling like a chicken more than a junco – with a healthy boundary between herself and her obstacle.
She was free. For a minute, I was breathless. The adrenalin and hope was so big that when she was gone, I felt so grateful she might have another chance. I had not only been able to help the bird have the possibility of another chance, but more importantly, it was this kind of mindblowing moment of realization.
Remember that line from earlier in the blog? [It was scary for her and frustrating for me, because I wanted so much for her to have her freedom.]
I’m writing this, because I know I was supposed to write this today.
I want that freedom for you. I want that freedom for me.
We are all struggling to be free of something. We try and try and get entangled and often feel that there is no way out or no way forward. We complain. We squawk. We make excuses. We get frustrated. We give up. We feel bound. We feel hopeless. We are left feeling that there is no hope or way out.
What if we paid attention and made choices so that we could move forward, rejoice, ditch excuses, feel relief and possibility, free and hopeful, and be able to see the way out of the circumstances we want to change?
That’s what we are designed to do.
Then there are the topics: health, relationships, lifestyle, work, spiritual lives, money, bad deals, fixed mindsets, weight, alcohol, smoking, procrastination…the list of possibilities is endless.
How often do we accept our situation (with any of the above topics) and admit we need help, then accept it, and then move forward toward a new life with better possibilities, abundance and change?
I wish that was every single time, but there would be no need for so many supportive professions if we could go it all alone.
While it may seem easier to just accept our fate, because working to be free of the chains that bind us might require some seriously hard work and possibly outside help, it’s the pathway to stagnation and I am here to tell you that there IS a better life and IS a way to make positive, life changes with help.
We were designed to be well in all areas of life – whole and healthy – and sometimes it just means that we need to get help in the areas that aren’t our strength so that we can break free from the net that is holding us back from our true potential.
We need to help to achieve the abundance we want, the abundance we were created for, and the abundant life we need to live.
Yes. It will require us to face the uncomfortable truth, be in painful positions that are twisted, on the edge of breaking us, and downright frustrating for us - just like it was for the bird.
Help can also come in many ways. Maybe we have cheerleaders, coaches, mentors, or people who inspire us to get out of our negative entrapment – whatever the life area may be.
Other times, it’s within us and it’s as simple as being self-aware and admitting – and accepting – that we don’t want life to feel like this anymore, and fighting like hell for the change we want to make and never giving up.
This is exactly why this bird being there today is completely on purpose.
During my phone conversation with my friend, I was sharing how important it is to remove the blocks that keep us from living our best life and that I’m actively working on a few that are very important to me right now. Then the bird became stuck in the net during our call.
Hello God. Thank you for the sign. Thank you Mom for inserting one of your favorite birds. Thank you for the reminder that the only thing that is holding us back from breaking free from the bonds that bind us is asking for what we need – crying out for it, for God’s sakes if we need to – accepting the help we need or getting it on our own, and making the changes necessary for our best life.
It starts with a choice. It starts with a choice to trust, ask for help and to be responsible for our changing.
Friends. I will say it again. There was no coincidence here. That bird was sent to me to remind me that nothing is permanent. Life can change in an instant, just like when that bird flew into the net, and just like when that bird was freed from the net.
Our circumstances do not have to define us, but they will cause parts of our lives to live us rather than us actively and unstoppably living thriving lives. We have to pay attention.
What are the binds in your life that need to be broken? Who do you need to help set you free? Is it God? A family member or friend? A counselor? A Pastor or spiritual director? A coach? ...Or is it an opportunity to simply check in and reassess what areas of your life need to shift so you can be free and put a fence between you and your obstacles once and for all?
Anyone who has been following my work for the past five years knows that I believe in the unique and powerful YES that we are all designed and called to live. Identifying and working with God’s help to remove the bonds that bind us can take years, but it’s worth it.
Task: Take 10 minutes and write down areas of your life that you’d like to see change in the next year. Write down 3 steps you can take in the next year. Then break those down. Then list 3 steps you can take this month. Finally, break that down into 3 weekly efforts you can make to be free of the burden of whatever is binding you. Last step: Ask for the help that you need. Be the bird. 😉
Funny Update: After further identification, said baby bird that I thought was a baby junco wasn’t even a baby junco. I should have know it was a grey catbird. Turns out my grandfather had one named Pete. All of the signs were there today!